I Peter 3:1-7 The ABC's Of Good Relationships

The ABC’s of Relationships

1 Peter 3:1-7

New Living Translation (NLT)

Wives

3 In the same way, you wives must accept the authority of your husbands. Then, even if some refuse to obey the Good News, your godly lives will speak to them without any words. They will be won over ² by observing your pure and reverent lives.

³ Don’t be concerned about the outward beauty of fancy hairstyles, expensive jewelry, or beautiful clothes.⁴ You should clothe yourselves instead with the beauty that comes from within, the unfading beauty of a gentle and quiet spirit, which is so precious to God. ⁵ This is how the holy women of old made themselves beautiful. They trusted God and accepted the authority of their husbands. ⁶ For instance, Sarah obeyed her husband, Abraham, and called him her master. You are her daughters when you do what is right without fear of what your husbands might do.

Husbands

⁷ In the same way, you husbands must give honor to your wives. Treat your wife with understanding as you live together. She may be weaker than you are, but she is your equal partner in God’s gift of new life. Treat her as you should so your prayers will not be hindered.

This passage is often used by pastors to reinforce the harmony of a husband and wife in the home.  I believe the principles can be used to strengthen all relationships.  They are able to help keep harmony in friendships, on the job, and between family members beyond the spousal relationship.

Let’s begin by listing four “A’s” that can help us improve our relationships:

1. Actions  - We must be responsible for our own actions and reactions, and not be ready to blame the other person when things are not going well between us.  There are many subtle ways in which we manipulate others, but we must humble ourselves and seek what is best for the other person, not seek to fulfill our own selfish desires.  How we act far outweighs what we say.

2. Appearance – We must do our best to present ourselves well, but we can look like a million bucks, and have a rotten inner person, and our beauty will be destroyed.  It’s the person we are inside, our character, which enhances how well we get along with others.  We must both look pleasant and be pleasant, but the inner beauty is of much more value that what we wear or how we adorn ourselves.

3. Attitude – This stems right from our inner person as mentioned above.  The author of Hebrews writes that we must strive to live in peace with everyone (12:14).  Paul tells us in Philippians that our attitude should be the same as Christ Jesus.  Even though He was God, Himself, He did not demand and cling to his rights.  Instead he took the position of a servant, serving others.  Can you imagine how such an attitude would change our relationships?  When our behavior is Christ-like we influence others to seek after God.

4. Attention – Everyone thrives on receiving attention, it makes one feel special.  Giving respect to that significant other person, spending time with him or her, being sensitive to the desires and needs of that person and trying to meet those would penetrate the heart of the person with whom you are trying to build your relationship.

Secondly, let’s look at the “B’s” necessary for building our relationships:

1. Be Present – It’s hard to carry on a conversation if one person isn’t “there”.  Focus on who you are with, what is being said.  Time spent together in sharing openly, and being sensitive to each other is perhaps the best thing you can do to strengthen your relationship.

2. Be Understanding – This requires listening to what’s beneath the words being spoken.  Is there fear or deep concern?  A person wants to feel secure with you, and sense your respect.  That only comes in taking time to truly hear what is being said, in words, and in body language.  We must learn to respect each person for the personality God has given us, the person we are created to be, and help each other grow stronger.

3. Be Forgiving – Every relationship requires forgiveness.  We are still human, we will make mistakes.  Being patient, being honest, and being willing to forgive is absolutely essential.  In Ephesians Paul tells us to be kind, tenderhearted, and forgiving, just as Christ forgive us (4:32).

4. Be Harmonious – Find those things you like to do together, and enjoy time spent doing them.  Pray together, for nothing will bring more harmony to a relationship than an effective prayer life, where God is the center of your relationship.  As the Fruit of the Spirit is developed in your lives, respect is built.

In this short discourse on building and improving our relationship with others, we wrap up with the “C’s”:

1.      Christ – put Him first in all of your relationships to keep the proper balance and respect due the other person.

2.      Caring – put each other first…here’s the formula for JOY:  Jesus first, Others second, Yourself last.

3.      Considerate – be respectful and kind to everyone, treating each person as you would want to be treated.

4.      Commitment – Every relationship will have its ups and downs, its times of contentment and times of frustrations.  It has been said if you don’t have times of conflict, someone is not being real.  However, if you honor that commitment of being faithful, being dependable, being concerned, and you can work through any difficulties that come your way.  Commitment may be all you have at some point, but commitment can see you through to better times.  Be committed to tie a knot and hold on!!  Then go back and work on every ABC listed above.  Love isn't a feeling, it is a commitment.