I Peter 3:8-12 Christian Maturity / Harmonious Living

1 Peter 3:8-12

New Living Translation (NLT)

⁸ Finally, all of you should be of one mind. Sympathize with each other. Love each other as brothers and sisters.^[a] Be tenderhearted, and keep a humble attitude. ⁹ Don’t repay evil for evil. Don’t retaliate with insults when people insult you. Instead, pay them back with a blessing. That is what God has called you to do, and he will bless you for it. ¹⁰ For the Scriptures say,

“If you want to enjoy life
    and see many happy days,
keep your tongue from speaking evil
    and your lips from telling lies.
¹¹ Turn away from evil and do good.
    Search for peace, and work to maintain it.
¹² The eyes of the Lord watch over those who do right,
    and his ears are open to their prayers.
But the Lord turns his face
    against those who do evil.”^[b]

            My husband had just left our house for the last time.  He was getting a divorce from me and had come to pick up the items he wanted from our two year accumulation of married life.  When the door shut behind him, I turned around crumbled in turmoil, asking God if He was going to reject me also.  After all, He hates divorce.  I saw my Bible on the nearest table and went to it to see if He had a Word for me.  He took me to Galatians 5:13 – For you have been called to live in freedom, my brothers and sisters. But don’t use your freedom to satisfy your sinful nature. Instead, use your freedom to serve one another in love.

            At that time of my life I focused on God loving me enough to release me from an unfaithful husband, and yet be sure that my new found freedom didn’t lead me into a relationship that would displease Him.  It was several years later when I was seeking my life verse that I was brought back to this Word from God.  This time He highlighted the last portion of the verse, the part about serving others with love…His love.  I had found my life verse and my calling.  It basically boiled down to being set free to serve God by serving others.  However, it was His love that set me free, and His love that I needed within me to serve others. 

            You cannot read the New Testament very much without coming across the concept of loving others.  Paul’s letter to the Philippians gave these instructions:

Philippians 2:1-8 (NLT)

Have the Attitude of Christ

Is there any encouragement from belonging to Christ? Any comfort from his love? Any fellowship together in the Spirit? Are your hearts tender and compassionate?  Then make me truly happy by agreeing wholeheartedly with each other, loving one another, and working together with one mind and purpose.

Don’t be selfish; don’t try to impress others. Be humble, thinking of others as better than yourselves. Don’t look out only for your own interests, but take an interest in others, too.

You must have the same attitude that Christ Jesus had.

Though he was God,
    he did not think of equality with God
    as something to cling to.
Instead, he gave up his divine privileges;
    he took the humble position of a slave^]
    and was born as a human being.
When he appeared in human form,
    he humbled himself in obedience to God
    and died a criminal’s death on a cross.

            When Peter penned his first epistle to the believers in the first century, his purpose was to offer hope and encouragement to those who were suffering from persecution.  He gave practical applications as to how they were to live and get along with each other.  The last passage, my previous blog on I Peter 3:1-7, he gave specific instructions on relationships between husbands and wives.  In verses 8-12 of this same chapter he addresses all Christians on how to live in harmony with each other in a world that has a bend toward evil.  Relationships between Christians should not look the same as worldly relationships.  We find the very words of Jesus in the Gospel of John:  By this everyone will know that you are my disciples, if you love one another.  (John 13:35)

            It all comes back to love…the love of Jesus.  When we become believers in Christ, we are adopted into the family of God as brothers and sisters of Jesus Christ.  There should be unity and harmony with God and with each other.  The more we grow in the likeness of Jesus, the more His qualities become our own.  Peter has listed these qualities almost as checkpoints in our Christian maturity.  Let’s look at the verses more closely and find the attributes Peter points out to us.

I Peter 3:8

Finally, all of you should be of one mind. Sympathize with each other. Love each other as brothers and sisters. Be tenderhearted, and keep a humble attitude. 

·         Unity – being of one mind, having a like purpose, being one in the Spirit, finding the common grounds of our beliefs. “…so that there should be no division in the body, but that its parts should have equal concern for each other.   If one part suffers, every part suffers with it; if one part is honored, every part rejoices with it.”  (I Corinthians 12:25-26)

• Caring about others – having compassion, being sympathetic, feeling what others feel without having jealously or a sense of competition.  Rejoice with those who rejoice; mourn with those who mourn.  Live in harmony with one another. Do not be proud, but be willing to associate with people of low position.  Do not be conceited.  (Romans 12:15-16)  Therefore, as God’s chosen people, holy and dearly loved, clothe yourselves with compassion, kindness, humility,  gentleness and patience.  (Colossians 3:12)

• Loving each other as brothers and sisters - concerned with the needs and hurts of others.  There needs to be a sense of safeness when we share our burdens with one another.  Now about your love for one another we do not need to write to you, for you yourselves have been taught by God to love each other.   And in fact, you do love all of God’s family throughout Macedonia.  Yet we urge you, brothers and sisters, to do so more and more. (I Thessalonians 4:9-10)

• Kindhearted - empathetic and courteous to one another, thinking of others as better than ourselves.  And be kind to one another, tenderhearted, forgiving one another, just as God in Christ also forgave you.  (Ephesians 4:32)

I Peter 3:9

Don’t repay evil for evil. Don’t retaliate with insults when people insult you. Instead, pay them back with a blessing. That is what God has called you to do, and he will bless you for it. 

• Forgiveness - our human nature would cause us to respond in anger to those who mistreat us, wanting to get even and hurt them back.  Peter reminds us that we have a different set of ethics as believers.  We are to do good to those who wrong us, even to bless them.  When we do, we are blessed by God in return.  (See Ephesians 4:32 above)

I Peter 3:10

For the Scriptures say,

“If you want to enjoy life
    and see many happy days,
keep your tongue from speaking evil
    and your lips from telling lies.

• Controlled Tongue – refraining from gossip and telling lies, being trustworthy with confidential information.  Instead, speaking the truth in love, we will grow to become in every respect the mature body of him who is the head^, that is, Christ. From him the whole body, joined and held together by every supporting ligament, grows⁾ and builds itself up in love, as each part does its work.  (Ephesians 4:15-16)

I Peter 3:11-12

Turn away from evil and do good.
    Search for peace, and work to maintain it.
The eyes of the Lord watch over those who do right,
    and his ears are open to their prayers.
But the Lord turns his face
    against those who do evil.

·         Seeking Peace – keeping harmony in our relationships with others.  The more we adopt the attitude of Christ and live as He lived, the more we exemplify Jesus to others.  That is what we are called to do as His Bride, His Church, His Family, His Namesake.  Do not repay anyone evil for evil.   Be careful to do what is right in the eyes of everyone.  If it is possible, as far as it depends on you, live at peace with everyone.   Do not take revenge, my dear friends, but leave room for God’s wrath, for it is written: “It is mine to avenge; I will repay,” says the Lord.  On the contrary: “If your enemy is hungry, feed him;  if he is thirsty, give him something to drink.  In doing this, you will heap burning coals on his head.”  Do not be overcome by evil, but overcome evil with good. (Romans 12:17-21)

(Peter quotes from Psalm 34:12-16 in verses 10-12 of his letter.)

            Even though God had given me the mandate to serve others with love when he gave me my life verse (Galatians 5:13), He did not immediately gift me with all the attributes I would need to fulfill my calling.  It’s been a life-long journey.  There was a definite point in my journey where I surrendered my complete self to him…a point of consecration where I recognized God wanted to sanctify me…set me apart for His holy purpose.  That still did not perfect me.  I had to make daily choices that would either honor Him, or take my own way.  I did not always honor Him, sad to say.  But He never gave up on me, and through the failures, I learn and grow. 

I have obtained wisdom through the years that I wish I would have had as a young mother and as a mid-lifer.  Don’t we all wish we could turn the clock back sometimes and redo things differently?  The key for me was to keep on my knees in prayer, surrendering my weaknesses, and asking for more of God’s grace.  My heart’s desire was to please Him, to serve Him, to love others…but sometimes Carol just got in the way.  So I would bring my messes to Him and ask Him to help me to be more like Jesus.  He has never failed me.  Now when I read these check points that Peter has given us, I see areas where I have made tremendous growth…I have come so far.  But there are still some areas in which He is helping me to improve. 

My passion and goal is to hear my Heavenly Father say to me, “Welcome home, my child, come on in… we've been waiting for you!”  And I will know the journey I took was worth it all…just to see His face!!

I Peter 3:1-7 The ABC's Of Good Relationships

The ABC’s of Relationships

1 Peter 3:1-7

New Living Translation (NLT)

Wives

3 In the same way, you wives must accept the authority of your husbands. Then, even if some refuse to obey the Good News, your godly lives will speak to them without any words. They will be won over ² by observing your pure and reverent lives.

³ Don’t be concerned about the outward beauty of fancy hairstyles, expensive jewelry, or beautiful clothes.⁴ You should clothe yourselves instead with the beauty that comes from within, the unfading beauty of a gentle and quiet spirit, which is so precious to God. ⁵ This is how the holy women of old made themselves beautiful. They trusted God and accepted the authority of their husbands. ⁶ For instance, Sarah obeyed her husband, Abraham, and called him her master. You are her daughters when you do what is right without fear of what your husbands might do.

Husbands

⁷ In the same way, you husbands must give honor to your wives. Treat your wife with understanding as you live together. She may be weaker than you are, but she is your equal partner in God’s gift of new life. Treat her as you should so your prayers will not be hindered.

This passage is often used by pastors to reinforce the harmony of a husband and wife in the home.  I believe the principles can be used to strengthen all relationships.  They are able to help keep harmony in friendships, on the job, and between family members beyond the spousal relationship.

Let’s begin by listing four “A’s” that can help us improve our relationships:

1. Actions  - We must be responsible for our own actions and reactions, and not be ready to blame the other person when things are not going well between us.  There are many subtle ways in which we manipulate others, but we must humble ourselves and seek what is best for the other person, not seek to fulfill our own selfish desires.  How we act far outweighs what we say.

2. Appearance – We must do our best to present ourselves well, but we can look like a million bucks, and have a rotten inner person, and our beauty will be destroyed.  It’s the person we are inside, our character, which enhances how well we get along with others.  We must both look pleasant and be pleasant, but the inner beauty is of much more value that what we wear or how we adorn ourselves.

3. Attitude – This stems right from our inner person as mentioned above.  The author of Hebrews writes that we must strive to live in peace with everyone (12:14).  Paul tells us in Philippians that our attitude should be the same as Christ Jesus.  Even though He was God, Himself, He did not demand and cling to his rights.  Instead he took the position of a servant, serving others.  Can you imagine how such an attitude would change our relationships?  When our behavior is Christ-like we influence others to seek after God.

4. Attention – Everyone thrives on receiving attention, it makes one feel special.  Giving respect to that significant other person, spending time with him or her, being sensitive to the desires and needs of that person and trying to meet those would penetrate the heart of the person with whom you are trying to build your relationship.

Secondly, let’s look at the “B’s” necessary for building our relationships:

1. Be Present – It’s hard to carry on a conversation if one person isn’t “there”.  Focus on who you are with, what is being said.  Time spent together in sharing openly, and being sensitive to each other is perhaps the best thing you can do to strengthen your relationship.

2. Be Understanding – This requires listening to what’s beneath the words being spoken.  Is there fear or deep concern?  A person wants to feel secure with you, and sense your respect.  That only comes in taking time to truly hear what is being said, in words, and in body language.  We must learn to respect each person for the personality God has given us, the person we are created to be, and help each other grow stronger.

3. Be Forgiving – Every relationship requires forgiveness.  We are still human, we will make mistakes.  Being patient, being honest, and being willing to forgive is absolutely essential.  In Ephesians Paul tells us to be kind, tenderhearted, and forgiving, just as Christ forgive us (4:32).

4. Be Harmonious – Find those things you like to do together, and enjoy time spent doing them.  Pray together, for nothing will bring more harmony to a relationship than an effective prayer life, where God is the center of your relationship.  As the Fruit of the Spirit is developed in your lives, respect is built.

In this short discourse on building and improving our relationship with others, we wrap up with the “C’s”:

1.      Christ – put Him first in all of your relationships to keep the proper balance and respect due the other person.

2.      Caring – put each other first…here’s the formula for JOY:  Jesus first, Others second, Yourself last.

3.      Considerate – be respectful and kind to everyone, treating each person as you would want to be treated.

4.      Commitment – Every relationship will have its ups and downs, its times of contentment and times of frustrations.  It has been said if you don’t have times of conflict, someone is not being real.  However, if you honor that commitment of being faithful, being dependable, being concerned, and you can work through any difficulties that come your way.  Commitment may be all you have at some point, but commitment can see you through to better times.  Be committed to tie a knot and hold on!!  Then go back and work on every ABC listed above.  Love isn't a feeling, it is a commitment.