I Peter 3:13-17 – When Life’s Not Fair

1 Peter 3:13-17

New Living Translation (NLT)

¹³ Now, who will want to harm you if you are eager to do good? ¹⁴ But even if you suffer for doing what is right, God will reward you for it. So don’t worry or be afraid of their threats. ¹⁵ Instead, you must worship Christ as Lord of your life. And if someone asks about your Christian hope, always be ready to explain it.¹⁶ But do this in a gentle and respectful way. Keep your conscience clear. Then if people speak against you, they will be ashamed when they see what a good life you live because you belong to Christ. ¹⁷ Remember, it is better to suffer for doing good, if that is what God wants, than to suffer for doing wrong!

Last Sunday night I heard a pastor preach on Psalm 109.  You need to read that scripture to understand the context, but basically David was asking God to slay those who had done him wrong.  He gave all kinds of ways God could avenge his accusers.  He asked God to curse them, and not bless them.  I mean, there’s quite a list of demands David made of God, and none of them were what we would consider Christian responses.  I had spent Sunday afternoon studying this current blog passage in I Peter, so what came to my mind while I listened to the contents of Psalm 109 was how differently Peter wanted us to react in our times of attack, compared to David’s reaction.  I am so glad that in the end it is God’s responsibility to take revenge, not ours.  Paul tells us in Romans 12:19:  Dear friends, never take revenge. Leave that to the righteous anger of God. For the Scriptures say, “I will take revenge; I will pay them back,” says the Lord.

So, then, how do we handle our responses, our reactions, our attitude when we have been done wrong, when we are hurting and suffering?  I believe Peter has laid out some good guidelines for us when life just doesn’t seem fair.  He starts out by saying that usually people do not suffer for doing what is good.  But we know that isn’t always the case…bad things do happen to good people.  Peter goes on to say that if one does suffer for doing the right thing, then God is very aware of it, and He will bless the one suffering.  Peter believes that a committed Christian should always be ready to represent his faith by treating others with gentleness and respect…responding in love, not in anger or frustration.  In that way a believer’s loving attitude will shine a clear light on the opponent’s bitterness, and make him ashamed, perhaps even convicted to change the way he is acting.  Peter wraps up this passage by reminding us that it is always better to suffer for doing good than for doing wrong.

Chuck Swindoll says there are basically two perspectives from which we can choose when life throws us a curve ball.  First of all there is the natural response, the Human Perspective.  We are hurt, we are angry, and we are going to get even.  This perspective will only lead to bitterness and hostility.  We will end up a most miserable person.  Watching out for number one and getting our fair share never works in the end.

The second perspective from which we can choose is the Divine Perspective, seeing the situation from God’s point of view.  God is always watching over us and He knows what’s going on in our lives.  He listens to our prayers, He sees our hearts.  Remember what Paul said in Romans 8:28:   And we know that God causes everything to work together for the good of those who love God and are called according to his purpose for them. God is a just God and He will work out all things for our good, although it may not be in our own timetable.  For just as the heavens are higher than the earth, so my ways are higher than your ways and my thoughts higher than your thoughts. (Isaiah 55:9)

Let’s look at some practical ways to apply the wisdom of Peter when life is not fair:

1. 3:14 - But even if you should suffer for what is right, you are blessed.  So don’t worry or be afraid of their threats.  We must endure patiently life’s unfair treatments for we know that we will one day be rewarded for that endurance.  That gives us the strength to have a positive attitude in the midst of trials. We are not to panic or have anxiety.  God is on our side and if we trust Him, we can keep calm and free from worry.  James 1:2 reminds us:  Dear brothers and sisters, when troubles come your way, consider it an opportunity for great joy.

2. 3:15 - Instead, you must worship Christ as Lord of your life. And if someone asks about your Christian hope, always be ready to explain it.   We must be able to give reasons for why we live as we do, why we are different from the natural human conditions around us.  We can only respond as Christians if Christ is living in us.  He must be in control of our lives.  The good qualities we portray must come from Him as we live surrendered to Him, as we live in obedience to Him moment by moment. We need to be able to explain why we have peace, joy, love, and hope.  It is because Jesus lives in us, and He is the One who makes the difference in our lives.  We can look at Stephen from the New Testament as a good example of someone who went through mistreatment by his enemies, yet portrayed a person full of the grace and love of Jesus.  He asked God to forgive those who were stoning him to death, almost the same words of Jesus at the cross. 

3. 3:16 - But do this in a gentle and respectful way. Keep your conscience clear. Then if people speak against you, they will be ashamed when they see what a good life you live because you belong to Christ.  We must have a clear conscience to be effective in our sharing Christ with others.  We do not have the option of living a double or secret life.  Our consciences are cleared by the forgiveness of Christ.  We are forgiven, and they can be also.  We must treat others as Christ would treat them, gently and respectfully.  This is the opposite of being rude and insensitive.  We are not to act better than them or talk down to them, but show them the same respect Jesus has shown us.  Our testimony is the loudest and most convincing when we can portray the love of Jesus in the midst of our own suffering. Living a life of integrity is the most powerful defense we can give.  When we live with integrity, the Holy Spirit can use our lives to convict others of their shamefulness. 

4. 3:17 - Remember, it is better to suffer for doing good, if that is what God wants, than to suffer for doing wrong!  We don’t know why, but sometimes it seems that it is God’s will for His children to go through suffering for doing what is right.  If Jesus is Lord of my life, I will not give up or give in because I know He has not given up on me.  If He can go to the cross for me, then what I am suffering doesn’t begin to compare.  Job is a fine example of one who suffered injustice in his life as God allowed satan to test him.  Because he patiently endured and did not give up on God, he is counted as blessed among the characters of the Old Testament, and he was rewarded double what he had before he lost everything he had.  The Lord is always in control, and He does not leave us hopeless.  That’s the truth we can hang on to tightly!

As Christians, we have a great opportunity in our world to make a difference by returning good for evil instead of the norm of returning evil for evil.  Such action blesses everyone.  But sometimes, even when our motive is love and we do good, we still suffer.  Jesus Christ is the greatest example of loving and doing good to others, and being treated as a criminal by his society, a criminal who faced death on a public cross.  We are told in John 15:20:  Do you remember what I told you? ‘A slave is not greater than the master.’ Since they persecuted me, naturally they will persecute you.  (The words of Jesus)

In my morning devotions I read that the purpose of adversity, troubles and sorrow, is threefold.  First of all it equips us to help others.  We gain compassion when we go through adversity, and we are more able to reach out to others around us that are in need.  Secondly, adversity draws us closer to God as we long for our heavenly home.  We know how much we need Him while we are on this earthly journey, and He will not fail us.  He is always there for us.  Finally, suffering is like the heat of a kiln, refining us, making us more like Christ Jesus.  If we allow it, love will rise out of our suffering.  God’s purpose for us is to reach our world with the love of Jesus.  The question we should ask ourselves when we go through adversity is not “Why me?”  But, “Am I willing to suffer for Him?”

Resources used:

Hope in Hurtful Times, A Study of I Peter, Charles R. Swindoll, Insight for Living, 1990.

Ch 9:  I Peter 3:13-17 – “When Life ‘Just Ain’t Fair”

The Communicator’s Commentary:  James, 1, 2 Peter, Jude, Lloyd J. Ogilvie, General Editor, Paul A. Cedar, Word Books, Publisher, 1984.

I Peter 3:1-7 The ABC's Of Good Relationships

The ABC’s of Relationships

1 Peter 3:1-7

New Living Translation (NLT)

Wives

3 In the same way, you wives must accept the authority of your husbands. Then, even if some refuse to obey the Good News, your godly lives will speak to them without any words. They will be won over ² by observing your pure and reverent lives.

³ Don’t be concerned about the outward beauty of fancy hairstyles, expensive jewelry, or beautiful clothes.⁴ You should clothe yourselves instead with the beauty that comes from within, the unfading beauty of a gentle and quiet spirit, which is so precious to God. ⁵ This is how the holy women of old made themselves beautiful. They trusted God and accepted the authority of their husbands. ⁶ For instance, Sarah obeyed her husband, Abraham, and called him her master. You are her daughters when you do what is right without fear of what your husbands might do.

Husbands

⁷ In the same way, you husbands must give honor to your wives. Treat your wife with understanding as you live together. She may be weaker than you are, but she is your equal partner in God’s gift of new life. Treat her as you should so your prayers will not be hindered.

This passage is often used by pastors to reinforce the harmony of a husband and wife in the home.  I believe the principles can be used to strengthen all relationships.  They are able to help keep harmony in friendships, on the job, and between family members beyond the spousal relationship.

Let’s begin by listing four “A’s” that can help us improve our relationships:

1. Actions  - We must be responsible for our own actions and reactions, and not be ready to blame the other person when things are not going well between us.  There are many subtle ways in which we manipulate others, but we must humble ourselves and seek what is best for the other person, not seek to fulfill our own selfish desires.  How we act far outweighs what we say.

2. Appearance – We must do our best to present ourselves well, but we can look like a million bucks, and have a rotten inner person, and our beauty will be destroyed.  It’s the person we are inside, our character, which enhances how well we get along with others.  We must both look pleasant and be pleasant, but the inner beauty is of much more value that what we wear or how we adorn ourselves.

3. Attitude – This stems right from our inner person as mentioned above.  The author of Hebrews writes that we must strive to live in peace with everyone (12:14).  Paul tells us in Philippians that our attitude should be the same as Christ Jesus.  Even though He was God, Himself, He did not demand and cling to his rights.  Instead he took the position of a servant, serving others.  Can you imagine how such an attitude would change our relationships?  When our behavior is Christ-like we influence others to seek after God.

4. Attention – Everyone thrives on receiving attention, it makes one feel special.  Giving respect to that significant other person, spending time with him or her, being sensitive to the desires and needs of that person and trying to meet those would penetrate the heart of the person with whom you are trying to build your relationship.

Secondly, let’s look at the “B’s” necessary for building our relationships:

1. Be Present – It’s hard to carry on a conversation if one person isn’t “there”.  Focus on who you are with, what is being said.  Time spent together in sharing openly, and being sensitive to each other is perhaps the best thing you can do to strengthen your relationship.

2. Be Understanding – This requires listening to what’s beneath the words being spoken.  Is there fear or deep concern?  A person wants to feel secure with you, and sense your respect.  That only comes in taking time to truly hear what is being said, in words, and in body language.  We must learn to respect each person for the personality God has given us, the person we are created to be, and help each other grow stronger.

3. Be Forgiving – Every relationship requires forgiveness.  We are still human, we will make mistakes.  Being patient, being honest, and being willing to forgive is absolutely essential.  In Ephesians Paul tells us to be kind, tenderhearted, and forgiving, just as Christ forgive us (4:32).

4. Be Harmonious – Find those things you like to do together, and enjoy time spent doing them.  Pray together, for nothing will bring more harmony to a relationship than an effective prayer life, where God is the center of your relationship.  As the Fruit of the Spirit is developed in your lives, respect is built.

In this short discourse on building and improving our relationship with others, we wrap up with the “C’s”:

1.      Christ – put Him first in all of your relationships to keep the proper balance and respect due the other person.

2.      Caring – put each other first…here’s the formula for JOY:  Jesus first, Others second, Yourself last.

3.      Considerate – be respectful and kind to everyone, treating each person as you would want to be treated.

4.      Commitment – Every relationship will have its ups and downs, its times of contentment and times of frustrations.  It has been said if you don’t have times of conflict, someone is not being real.  However, if you honor that commitment of being faithful, being dependable, being concerned, and you can work through any difficulties that come your way.  Commitment may be all you have at some point, but commitment can see you through to better times.  Be committed to tie a knot and hold on!!  Then go back and work on every ABC listed above.  Love isn't a feeling, it is a commitment.

I Peter 2:13-25 - Respect and Service

Respect and Service

1 Peter 2:13-25

New Living Translation (NLT)

Respecting People in Authority

¹³ For the Lord’s sake, respect all human authority—whether the king as head of state, ¹⁴ or the officials he has appointed. For the king has sent them to punish those who do wrong and to honor those who do right.

¹⁵ It is God’s will that your honorable lives should silence those ignorant people who make foolish accusations against you. ¹⁶ For you are free, yet you are God’s slaves, so don’t use your freedom as an excuse to do evil. ¹⁷ Respect everyone, and love your Christian brothers and sisters. Fear God, and respect the king.

I once had a Greek professor who was very tough. I was in a class of 24 students, of which a few were taking his class for the second or third time. You could not pass New Testament Greek if you did not study. It wasn’t a class you could fluff your way through. However, I never heard any of those repeating students complain about the professor. Instead, I saw tremendous respect for him. I think I discovered why. The professor gave respect to every student…he treated each one as a valued person, and never put anyone down for not having his homework done. In return, the students wanted to do their best for this professor, and he was held in very high esteem.

Respect. You cannot possess integrity without respect. You cannot show love without respect. How much you are respected is often reflected by how much you respect others. Peter addressed the issue in this portion of his first letter. He made it very clear that God instituted governmental authority, and it was man’s responsibility to respect that system by submitting to its laws. The only exception would be if the civil law violated a law of God.

Obedience to the civil law calls for respect for the authorities that govern that law. As Christians we are called to be good citizens as an example to others. The freedom we have as followers of Christ does not give us the right to live as we please and ignore authority. How we treat others speaks loudly about who we are. Because everyone is made in God’s likeness, and has the potential to become His follower, we are to show them our respect. By doing so, we honor our King. When we demonstrate the love of Christ to those who are not worthy of it, we show what true Christianity is all about. We serve Christ by serving those for whom He died.

Slaves

¹⁸ You who are slaves must accept the authority of your masters with all respect. Do what they tell you—not only if they are kind and reasonable, but even if they are cruel. ¹⁹ For God is pleased with you when you do what you know is right and patiently endure unfair treatment. ²⁰ Of course, you get no credit for being patient if you are beaten for doing wrong. But if you suffer for doing good and endure it patiently, God is pleased with you.

In these verses Peter gives us some guidelines on how to handle being mistreated. It is only human to blame others, and want to get even. What starts with resentment for our “ill treatment” quickly turns into seeking to get revenge. Then bitterness settles in, turning our hearts into stone. We feel sorry for ourselves, but that only leads to depression. Sometimes we put our feelings on the back burner and allow them to simmer for a season, but that will never solve anything. Eventually the simmer will blow its top.

Peter gives us a better way to handle what seems to be unfair treatment. In the culture of his day, the Roman Empire, ruled by Nero, treated Christians very cruelly. Yet Peter told the Christians they were not to resist government leadership or try to overthrow the government. Instead they were to give to Caesar what was his, including respect and honor, because of his leadership role.

Also in that culture, slaves were expected to do all the work, while the Romans remained the masters. Slaves were not considered to be people, but things, and they had no rights. Even though there was a certain freedom in becoming a Christian, slaves were still to humble themselves, submitting to their masters. In that way, their attitudes were a testimony to the difference Christ made in their lives.

In today’s culture this passage might be more of a reference to the relationship between an employee and employer, or perhaps even relationships within church leadership. We are called to submit to those over us, and keep a right attitude. Such submission can only come about by first of all submitting to God, depending upon Him to give us patience and endurance in the face of adversity. He gave us an Example to follow.

Our Example

²¹ For God called you to do good, even if it means suffering, just as Christ suffered^[c] for you. He is your example, and you must follow in his steps.

²² He never sinned,
nor ever deceived anyone.
²³ He did not retaliate when he was insulted,
nor threaten revenge when he suffered.
He left his case in the hands of God,
who always judges fairly.
²⁴ He personally carried our sins
in his body on the cross
so that we can be dead to sin
and live for what is right.
By his wounds
you are healed.

²⁵ Once you were like sheep
who wandered away.
But now you have turned to your Shepherd,
the Guardian of your souls.

We are not called to do anything that Christ Himself has not done. He was rejected, betrayed, brutally beaten to the point of death’s door, and then hung on a cross in shame…yet He did not retaliate. Instead He willingly gave His life so that others could know there is a better way to live.

To be able to forgive is divine, and through Christ we have that power. Our focus is changed from being “self”-centered to being “others”-centered, so that Christ receives the glory and praise. In that, there is true freedom…freedom from self, freedom to serve. As we do, we keep our eyes on Jesus, our Supreme example who sacrificed Himself because of His love for us. It is our privilege to follow His example.

My life verse summarizes what Peter is saying to us in this passage:

For you have been called to live in freedom, my brothers and sisters. But don’t use your freedom to satisfy your sinful nature. Instead, use your freedom to serve one another in love. (Galatians 5:13, NLT)